We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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