Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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