I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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