38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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