yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
