i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
