WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
