Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
