turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize