I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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