So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
