are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
