the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
