i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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