No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The air was thick with penises
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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