Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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