you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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