do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
