who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
