My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Jerry, you need to find god
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
