i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
