he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh god it's open bar.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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