yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
