Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
