if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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