did you get engaged???
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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