Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
