when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
