Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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