he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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