theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
