is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
