Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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