I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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