we're chasing vodka with high fives
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
