three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
