We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Your cock deserves a montage
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
