OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Watching her eat just hurts me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
