Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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