I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
