Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
