Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
