She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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