things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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