Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize