Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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