i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
