some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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