There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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