I am puke
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
