Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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