do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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