I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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