You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
