Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
