Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
