Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
