how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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