i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
