new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
