what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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