I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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