you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's great music for shaving your balls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
