After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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