just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
