I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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