Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
